Viewing: Notes » Drift.
Drift.
(2 minute read.)
'Seemed a good idea at the time.'
In view of my current mindset and physical health, which includes significant doubt about my ability to deliver commercial projects, it would clearly be unwise to begin 2026 in a similar manner to how I ended 2025.
And so with this in mind, I'm composing a non-confidential open and honest sit-rep. Much of it reads like an excuse, but it's not meant to be, and simply notes relevant issues.
It'll enable me to better appraise the good-and-bad of what I've done during the past year-or-so, and calmly determine a sensible way forward.
Regarding my almost total loss of self-confidence…
Looking at my project list, my typical reaction is 'that's a stupid idea, and the name is shite—and even if it isn't a stupid idea, the name is still shite'.
And, when using AI for an objective analysis and viewing a project as if it were somebody else's rather than mine, and thinking 'well that's actually quite clever, it's a decent project', then my reaction is 'Who the hell am I to try and do something like that? There's others who're far better placed (smarter/established/more resources) than me.'
And of course, there's the issue of how and why my project list increased so significantly… for which my view, and again not an excuse—I willingly accept that I've taken on too much, is one of…
Ideas spring-up without effort, often in conversation and sometimes triggered by the simple mention of a word or two, from which one thinks 'yeah, there's a book in that'. And so, because with AI-assistance it's so relatively quick and easy to develop a book, there's another entry in the project queue.
And, because I've not yet been well enough to launch, I've asked myself 'What am I supposed to do… ignore the idea? Sit around doing nothing, or start an additional project and develop initial strategy and content for it?
Do that once/sometimes twice a week for a year-or-so, and… well let's just say there's 'plenty of projects'.
So yeah, we'll see what comes from this 'look behind and ahead'. Right now though, it's not a good situation for me, and I don't pretend to have a solution.
I of course know what I have to do…
Figure out where I went wrong and learn from it, so's I can clear-up my mistakes and not repeat 'em.
But, with the significant self-doubt and regret I currently have, that's not straightforward. Bummer.
A time machine or 'undo' button would be most welcome.
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