Viewing: Notes » Restraint (or lack thereof).
Restraint (or lack thereof).
(5 minute read.)
Let a thousand flowers bloom?
Let's complete this note with another journal entry…
I do actually appear to be (at last) learning. I'm increasingly realising my mistakes with adding new projects.
I become too enthusiastic about things, and too easily consider them to be 'too good to not do'. Although doing the project sounds reasonable, I don't fully take account of how the extra work affects my original schedule.
The overall effect, once the initial enthusiasm has worn off (usually within a day or two), is that I feel bad about having added the project.
My poor discipline bothers me, and the increasing domain bills are an issue. (In returning to business after several years away, dealing with poor health, I'm funding things from relatively tiny savings).
Overall, these additional projects almost certainly aren't something I need to do—I already have enough to meet my financial and social aims. I need to remember this.
In almost all cases, it's better to not add more projects.
By declining them, I don't further over-burden myself with extra work and additional spend, and cause myself almost immediate guilt and regret.
Some mistakes are of course inevitable, and I shouldn't beat myself up too much… certainly not about what I've already done, and of course can't change.
And overall, things aren't too bad.
I've learned, and, honestly, the whole experience has improved my ability, and should perhaps be considered a relatively inexpensive (in terms of time and energy and money) and good value way to have gotten myself into the far better shape in which I am now compared to when I began my return to business activity.
And, in engaging with additional ideas, I've not infrequently chanced upon something which helps my other projects.
Going forward, I should continue to be objective about whether current projects and domains should be kept.
And, along with questioning 'does this project genuinely belong', I need to be aware that I could be over cautious and reject something that I shouldn't. (I realise this sounds like a potential excuse to continue the madness.)
There's always another idea. Another project that feels right.
Focus isn't about having less ambition—it's about choosing where to apply it.
I recognise that to some degree my behavior is addiction…
And my way of dealing with addiction is to continue whatever-it-is activity until I've genuinely had enough of it.
This has always worked better than self-restraint. So to some degree I've allowed myself to go along with it, knowing it'll eventually naturally decline and cease—which, after an intensely creative period, it's now doing.
My final bit of self-forgiveness is to acknowledge that individually, each project is good or better. But I also need to remember that collectively they've become a problem, and I would undoubtedly be better to have fewer and be more restrained about adding future ones.
Never miss a Note… get updates by email or rss.