Viewing: Notes » Turnaround.
Turnaround.
(6 minute read.)
'The state I'm in.'
A week-or-so ago my previous note expressed my difficulty with deteriorating mental/emotional health…
'Clearly, I can't work as I need or want to, and trying to is further depleting me.'
I suggested I'd look at this again in the new year, to find a workable solution to this significant problem.
In a changing situation I hadn't foreseen, an obvious resolution has forcefully presented itself earlier…
Dump almost every project, and keep just a few
Last night, I felt horrible, literally physically ill—nausea with significant intestinal pain—a consequence of considerable worry about the situation.
So the long-story-short of this is, that in what's definitely an over-reaction, I've decided to abort almost all projects, to keep maybe just a handful (perhaps fewer).
Clearly, the overload has become too great. And the objective now must be to prevent myself collapsing further into burnout.
Obviously, I'm having difficulty accommodating so many projects, it's stressful and draining. Moreover, there's a strong likelihood I'll add more!
An addict wanting another fix? Or simply entrepreneurial savvy in spotting an opportunity?
Both.
In an extended period during which I still don't feel ready to launch anything, and want to remain withdrawn, developing strategy and content… my mindset has been 'ok, so let's move onto another project, rough-out the strategy and initial content so that later when I'm ready to get fully into the project I'll have prepared accordingly'.
And when the basis of projects is books, developed with AI assistance (and for 'assistance', read 'much of the work'), things are relatively formulaic, simple and easy to do.
Satisfying, too—'one and done' finished result creativity which indulges my 'songwriter rather than singer' preference.
With hindsight, the whole thing looks ridiculous. Maybe it is. Although I suggest my previous strategy (do lots of projects) itself is probably ok… for someone who's healthy and can handle the work and financially afford it.
But I'm neither. Burnout has significantly affected my strength and resilience: mentally juggling things requires headspace I don't have. And I'm gambling with savings I can't afford to lose.
With so many projects, there's of course always been too much work for me to do alone, and to do it myself has never been my intent.
My view has been 'it's all work', so it doesn't matter whether I'm doing specific tasks myself or overseeing outsourcing. But the mental load of such diversity has become the problem.
And, tired, in my current mindset I increasingly lack the confidence to believe things can be appropriately outsourced and guided by me.
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