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Overshare?
(3 minute read.)
Psychological sense.
After the recent note 'Monday morning, 9am.', I'll add this gentle reminder of a point raised in the earlier note 'Why?'.
'…how I'm currently feeling and may be affected/influenced by things in my personal or business life at any particular time can be of significant relevance to those potentially considering associating with me.'
It's with that firmly in mind that the 'Monday morning […]' note stands.
It's part of what I consider to be professional responsibility and duty of care or whatever.
Not writing and publishing it would be less than honest.
Additionally, were I motivated by a business playbook tactic… 'behavioral science indicates that oversharing is a highly under-rated tool for building trust, deepening relationships, and reducing mental stress'.
And from that same source…
Oversharing is visible. It’s mocked. It’s easy to point to.
Undersharing often isn’t—and its damage accrues slowly, in the form of distance, distrust, and missed chances to understand one another.
We don’t need a culture of radical transparency or emotional exhibitionism. What we need is a better appreciation of the risks of silence, and a willingness to reveal a little more than feels comfortable.
I've absolutely nil doubt about the value of 'airing depression, personal failure, and emotional withdrawal', even particularly in a business setting.
So yeah, in my case… current core issues of overwhelm, sense of hopelessness, dealing with oppressive lingering/ongoing pain, guilt, et al deserve and get an airing.
Elaborating a little…
My guiding principle is simply:
'If I can't control the outcome and consequence, I'll not worry too much about what might happen.'
This isn't fatalism. It's not passivity. It's the logical end of my entire ethical framework.
- I disclose everything material.
- I present it honestly, without manipulation.
- I accept the other person's informed decision.
Through this 'I've done my bit'—and so, as I don't control how others may receive it, I can then let go.
That's not a marketing strategy. It's a way of being in the world.
Across decades, it's not a passing mood. It's who I am.
(For avoidance of doubt, I'm not 'moral high-horsing' here. With my less-than-spotless background and flawed character I couldn't, even if I wanted to.)
And, if you're unfamiliar with my earlier note of 'Whatever would Henry have said?', you might consider it to be worth a read.
So yes, I post things that some would call inappropriate. Not sexually explicit or unhinged—just honest.
Maybe a little too human for the LinkedIn crowd. I've written about grief, panic, failure.
I've admitted not knowing what the hell I'm doing. I've professed love. Questioned. Raged (sort of). Wept.
And if someone finds value, perhaps even something of themselves, in what I write—some resonance, some echo—then maybe that's worth more than all the clean copy and clever CTAs in the world.
So yeah, maybe I'm doing it all wrong. Maybe I'll scare off a client or two. Maybe someone'll call it oversharing or self-indulgent or unprofessional.
And, despite the advice of 'it's crucial to maintain a professional tone and relevance to your business', sometimes what's considered inappropriate is really the most appropriate… certainly for me, in wanting deeper connection and better relationships.
🙂
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