Huh? FAQ... sort of.
(4 minute read.)
More… or less… than you needed to know.
Are you any good?
Yes, very. Effective, too.
Having been doing this stuff for nigh-on thirty years, I probably know what I'm doing and can cover almost anything that's thrown at me.
What's with the 'rogue' branding?
'Playfully mischievous, aberrant, deviating… no longer conforming to the norm. A renegade that has separated itself from the herd.'
Honestly, with so much of business having become abc-123-paint-by-numbers formulaic stuff to court the popularity (and drain the wallets) of attention-challenged fuckwits, I wanted to make clear just how firmly I'd stepped away from the usual.
Do you work alone?
I have good'n'great contacts… 'the network of trusted associates', talented, experienced individuals and organizations who know their stuff and upon whom I call for specific requirements.
Can I hire you to help me?
Consulting is no longer my main gig, so my availability is restricted.
And I'm fussy about what and who I accept, rejecting most offers.
And the cost?
I set aside a few hours every week, available on a first-come basis at a ridiculously low rate.
For those few hours, my concessionary hourly fee is just $50.
Yes, that's right. it does say '50'.
For those who want-or-need longer-term association, I've preferential rates which are still waaaaaaaaay below what I used to charge.
And initial brief 'what do you think?' conversations in which I deliver a straight yes-no-maybe are always free.
Why so cheap?
It's a give-something-back thing… helping those to whom I'd otherwise be unaffordable.
It's been years since money was the motivator for me doing consulting gigs.
I'm well-known for speaking critically about the woefully below-par commercial standards in business.
So rather than sit back and wait for a happy ending, this is my contribution to raising the bar.
What'll I get?
Straightforward, no-nonsense, punches-not-pulled work for grown-ups.
You ask me about stuff, and I give you no-nonsense answers and guidance.
Simply, I'll tell you what needs to be done… and if required, help you do it.
Bluntly, expect an uncompromisingly market-focused, results-oriented examination-and-analysis appraisal in which I'll take a look at your stuff and suggest ways to dramatically improve it.
Are you difficult to work with?
But only with those who're not open & honest and have no genuine desire for 'better'.
'I'm here, and you're there'… is geography a problem?
Much of my work is undertaken by phone, email, etcetera… client and I never meet.
So, 'distance' ain't an issue.
What are your payment terms?
On the concessionary rate stuff, all upfront.
On longer-term association, I'm more flexible.
Like good contract killers, my norm is 'half-now, the rest when the job's done'.
Where appropriate, I offer pre-payment discounts and will structure stage payments for ongoing work.
If you genuinely can't afford to pay, tell me and we'll work something out.
Nobody's ever been turned away because of money, and they never will.
How do I pay?
I don't accept cash, cheques/checks, direct deposit, wire transfer or any other arrangement.
This way, the money's there on time and there's none of that 'we sent it-didn't you get it?' waiting-around nonsense.
'That what I'll do will work?'… of course not, there's too many variables so please don't be silly.
Volvo and Mercedes make exceptionally robust, well-engineered safe & reliable automobiles… and offer absolutely no warranty for the scenario of fools who drive stupidly just because they're in an 'exceptionally robust, well-engineered safe & reliable automobile'.
That said, if you're not happy with what I'm doing or have done I want to know about it… then, if I've screwed-up I'll swiftly put it right without extra charge.
For/with whom have you worked… will you supply testimonials from satisfied clients?
Don't ask. And no, I won't.
I rarely speak of current or previous work and, 'discretion prevails', never of individual clients. [It's that 'contract killer' thing again.]
Use your own best judgment to appraise my offering.
This is not a difficult process… look at my presentation… speak with me.
Long before money changes hands there's ample opportunity to assess my suitability.
And if you feel we're not right for each other, just walk away… I won't hesitate.
How do I learn more about you?
Speak with me.
Ask sensible questions and I'll answer.
At risk of breaking the 'macho branding thing' and exposing my soft white underbelly, I have an 'haven't updated for ages' thing at glvr.com. (It also has a real picture of me somewhere.)
Is that you in the picture at the top of this page?
And neither is it me on the other pages. Next…
And finally… what's with those stupid graphics?
They're slices from a single image.
[ SHOW MORE/HIDE ▼ ]
[ HIDE THIS ▲ ]
I have question not covered here.
NEXT: Wordshifters. The no-bs copywriting, editing & proofing service.
For insight and perspective…
[ SHOW MORE/HIDE ▼ ]
- This, not that. 'How' and 'why' matter.
- Authenticity. Respect and honesty.
- Business? Or 'enterprise'…?
- 'They say, we say.' Different strokes.
- Rush? Things are better without an imposed timeframe.
- Gonzo. A little something for the non-conformist in us.
- It stinks. The essence of marketing?
- 'I am, I said...' To introduce and inform.
[ HIDE THIS ▲ ]